Dopamine

Over the past few days I seem to have moved past something. Sure, I was depressed for a few weeks, but I was also having trouble moving. Felt uncoordinated, like a poorly operated marionette. My joints ached and I dropped dishes. My brain seemed to be ignoring my left side completely — leg flapping around, foot slapping the ground when I walked. And then it cleared. Some time this weekend it all flooded back together. My ravenous appetite is gone, generally happy, played my guitar, joint aches passed. I’m staying on top of work (early days this week). And not feeling like I need to run away. All I can think is that my brain chemistry just shifted either spontaneously, or through more time with friends this weekend and last weekend and god knows what else — the lengthening days? Time on a boat? Sleep? A night in a fancy hotel in Vancouver? But the most striking thing is how my movement has changed. The jangling dopamine drought of light dystonia has been replaced by a much less clumsy me. none of these things are clinical. Again, a Dr. would kindly listen while ignoring me were I to tell them. But something changed. Hope it sticks around.

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